Tauranga man jailed for sexually assaulting woman after work event, keeping name secret

Warning: This story contains details of sexual assault and may be disturbing.

“Living in a world where you are afraid to close your eyes and relax before bed is not very pleasant.”

This is what a woman told the 45-year-old man who raped her while she slept with a colleague after a work-related event.

Although Judge Bill Lawson waived permanent name suppression when the man was sentenced in the Tauranga District Court on Friday, he still cannot be named after he said he planned to appeal.

A jury found him guilty earlier this year after hearing a woman went to bed heavily intoxicated at a colleague’s home but woke up to find him sexually assaulting her.

She described his attack as “one of the most extreme violations a person can endure.”

The physical and emotional consequences were severe: she was unable to sit comfortably for several days after the attack and was in pain when traveling to the police station and attending medical appointments.

She was bruised and still has scars from the man “digging his nails into her.”

“It’s a constant reminder of what happened to me, and it haunts me every time I look in the mirror.”

It also affected her husband and young children.

“It took away precious time from our children to spend with their mother,” she said.

“Once I was very involved in their studies and activities, now I rarely get to pick them up or take them to school.”

They lost the “carefree, happy mother they once knew” as she sometimes struggled to get out of bed and constantly feared for their safety.

“They wake me up at night, scared and in need of comfort, only to find a mother who is herself afraid of being woken.”

This affected her relationship with her husband, as “the joy of (their) connection was overshadowed by these painful memories of the rape.”

“I know it affected him a lot. It’s not easy to live knowing that another man raped your wife in such a disgusting way.”

The woman said the trial left her traumatized again, but she wanted the man to never do anything like that again.

She asked Judge Lawson for “fairness.”

“Not only for me, but for my family, whose lives have been irrevocably changed,” she said.

“I also ask that you make sure (the person) gets the help they need so they never do this again.”

Speaking to NZME after the sentencing, the woman said she hoped other women would feel encouraged to speak out if they had been sexually assaulted.

“I hope this gives other people hope and helps someone stand up for themselves,” she said.

Although she felt it would have been easier to avoid a trial, it was the right thing to do to ensure there were no more victims.

Her advice to those who have been sexually assaulted was to “stay strong.”

“Get support, get counselling, go to Tautoko Mai (sexual harm support)… be kind to yourself and just do the right thing by yourself and other people.”

She was relieved that the trial was over and she could “now begin to get my life back on track.”

“Get away from me”

A man has been found guilty by a jury of charges of sexual assault by unlawful intercourse.

During the trial, the court heard there was a work event at the Tauranga races.

After the races, colleagues, friends and neighbors came inside to enjoy drinks and food on a typical summer evening around an outdoor fire pit.

The victim, who had a job connection and was friends with the homeowner, said she was having a good time socializing with her longtime friends and people she had just met.

Her husband left the meeting early, but she stayed.

The gathering continued, with more drinks and festivities, and several people remained in the house after midnight.

The woman said she was very drunk and could barely remember much of the evening.

She went to bed in one of the spare rooms, but woke up early in the morning to a man “forcibly” raping her.

In her video evidence to police, she said that when she realized what was happening, she kept thinking: “Say something, say something,” before she used her “sternest” voice to say: “Get off.” me”.

She heard him panting and panting as he raped her, but he stopped and “hurried” after she told him to leave.

When she woke up the next morning, she went to the bathroom, feeling pain, and thought, “Why the hell did that really happen?”

Defense lawyer Craig Tuck said the incident was a “total fantasy” and the woman made it up.

The defense argued not that this happened and she agreed, but that it simply did not happen at all.

Tuck said her evidence could not be relied upon due to the “almost incredible” amount of alcohol she drank, which affected her memory. He also pointed out that there was no DNA after a medical examination.

The jury returned a unanimous guilty verdict after approximately eight hours of deliberation.

“She had a right to feel safe.”

When sentencing, the judge referred to the man’s letter of remorse.

“This makes clear that you acknowledge that you wronged the victim in this way and acknowledge that you caused her physical and emotional harm.”

The judge said those close to him described him as “a gentle man, generous and willing to help others.”

But he also had problems in his upbringing, including ADHD, difficulties in school, a head injury as a teenager and substance abuse. The judge accepted a psychotherapist’s report which said some of these factors may have had a causal link to his offending.

Judge Lawson said the woman was in an environment where she had a right to feel safe.

“You were both taken to separate rooms and she had the right to expect to remain in that room without any interference or contact from you,” he said.

“You took advantage of her vulnerability. You seriously penetrated her… while she was sleeping or passed out. You held her in place to allow this to happen.”

The judge set the starting point at seven years and four months in prison. He gave the man a 5 percent discount for repentance.

“Your expression of remorse shows that you have thought things through… You accepted that your behavior had a serious impact on the victim,” Judge Lawson said.

“Very often in such cases, we find that victims are left in a state of doubt because the accused claim their innocence and do not accept the verdict. Here you admitted what you did.”

The man also offered compensation for moral damages in the amount of $2,500. The judge said that while this could not compensate for the financial loss suffered by the woman and her family, it was still an expression of expressed remorse.

The man was also given a 10 percent discount on background factors.

He was sentenced to six years and three months in prison and ordered to pay $2,500 in damages.

*This story originally appeared in New Zealand Herald.

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