Frances Infante advocates for raising awareness of brain aneurysms

For many Latinas, especially Dominican women, expectations rooted in masculinity and misogyny tend to shape us from an early age. We are often raised to put everyone else first—our family, parents, siblings, spouses, children, and even our community. However, such self-sacrifice can come at a great cost to our health and well-being. Francis Infante knows this too well. Entrepreneur and wife of a Latin superstar and the king of bachata. Romeo Santos faced a life-changing moment that forced her to reevaluate everything. Last fall, the mom of three suffered three brain aneurysms, a near-death experience that completely changed her life and led her to a new goal: educating women, especially mothers, about the importance of prioritizing their health.

When Infante first felt severe migraines late last year, she initially chalked it up to exhaustion from raising three children.

“It started out like a normal headache, but then night came and I was on FaceTime with my husband and I told him, ‘I can’t even look at you with my eyes. I feel like I’m going blind. My head is pounding in a way I’ve never felt before,” she says.

Infante took a painkiller a few minutes before going to bed, but woke up the next morning to find that her symptoms had worsened significantly. She had severe pain in both the left side of her head and neck, which led her to finally call the doctor.

Today, Infante believes her body was telling her to slow down for a while. But she ignored them due to the weight of her motherly responsibilities.

“In August (of that year) I tore my hip flexor while I was training and it was in so much pain that I was sent for an MRI. I did an MRI of the hip flexor, (but) something told me it would be a good idea to do a full scan of everything,” she says. “I kept putting it off. I put it off many times. I never had time for that, so the day I had a headache, I called my doctor and she asked, “What happened to the pictures you were going to take?” said, “I don’t know. I didn’t have time.”

Infante, who lives in Florida with her family, was in New York at the time and had no plans to fly back anytime soon, so her doctor made sure to make an appointment for her to find out what was going on. What the 39-year-old didn’t expect to hear was that the painful migraines were actually brain aneurysms.

“A few hours later, I was on telemedicine with my doctor, neurologist, coordinator and husband, and they were basically saying, ‘You need to have surgery today. You had two brain aneurysms,” she shares.

Less than 48 hours later, Infanta had to board a plane to Miami to undergo brain surgery, from which doctors warned her she might not wake up.

“Imagine leaving your children, your family, not knowing if you’ll come back, and then my son says, ‘Mom, who’s going to take care of me?’ And he starts crying. I say, ‘Oh my God, he feels it,'” she says. “I tried to be positive about it. It felt like God was trying to talk to me in different ways… My body was talking to me in different ways to get me to pay attention to it. First, I hurt my hip and then I got a headache, just so I realized, “Hey, you could die.”

According to the Mayo Clinic, a brain aneurysm.”is a bulge or swelling of a blood vessel in the brainWhile most brain aneurysms tend to be small, with few symptoms or damage, a ruptured aneurysm can cause symptoms such as nausea and vomiting, stiff neck, blurred or double vision, sensitivity to light, seizures, drooping eyelids , loss of consciousness, confusion. Brain aneurysms can also quickly lead to stroke or become life-threatening. more common in women by about 60 percent, and the impact on mothers is even greater. According to research, the third trimester of labor may increase a woman’s chances of developing a brain aneurysm due to significant changes in hormones and blood flow. In fact, the risk of aneurysm rupture is higher in the third semester and within six weeks after delivery. Black and Hispanic women are twice as likely have a ruptured brain aneurysm compared to their white counterparts.

Infante, who decided to put her needs and dreams on hold for her family’s well-being, says the successful surgery was her biggest epiphany. It was the wake-up call she desperately needed to finally pour into herself.

“I’m here taking care of everyone and stressing over everyone, making sure my house is always in order because I manage a whole team in my house. Plus, sometimes, even with my husband’s things, there was a lot going on,” she says. “Part of me was like, girl, come on. You’re here. You barely made it, and you’re not even living your dreams.”

Infante registered her beauty and health brand in 2016, but admits she didn’t do anything before the surgery. She believes the brand has more purpose today than when she came up with the idea.

“It makes sense. It used to be Not too poor for the sake of beauty but it was supposed to be just makeup and beauty. Now it’s about health and beauty, and there’s a message in that: you’re not too broken to be beautiful,” she says. “There are women who let themselves go. This could be housewives or even if you are single and work just takes over and you don’t give yourself priority. If you’re not here today, life goes on, so you need to prioritize and use the time you have now, and that was my message and that’s the message I want to convey through my brand.”

Like many Latinas, Infante was raised to believe that to be a good woman, she must put everyone’s needs before her own and always have a smile on her face—a double standard that is rarely ever held to men. By the age of 11, she had already learned how to make coffee, peel plane trees and cook breakfast.

“I was told that you need to know how to cook. My parents said things like: “El día que tu te casas, no one wants a girl who doesn’t know how to cook,” she says. “My parents and their parents’ parents were brought up in an era of male chauvinism. Everything was masculine. Women were supposed to stay home, cook, take care of the children, and that’s it. It was your job.”

But after a near-fatal health crisis, Infante realizes the best thing she can do for her children is take care of herself.

“I realized that my children needed a happy and healthy mother,” she says. “My joy is being creative and just coming up with really cool and fun ideas when it comes to beauty or fashion. It was something I no longer prioritized within myself. I didn’t put myself first at all. I was the last one, and now I realized that I must be the first. So now if I want to do something for myself, I will do it no matter what.”

In addition to creating the Not Too Broke For Beauty brand, Infante wants to raise awareness about brain aneurysms while inspiring women to prioritize self-care.

These days, Infante honors her self-care by attending classes at her Pilates studio almost daily, working out with her fitness trainer, taking time to meditate, asking for help when she needs it, and sleeping and resting as much as possible. trying to cope with stress.

“While brain aneurysms can be genetic, the No. 1 cause is stress,” she says, citing a lack of information and conversation about aneurysms in Latinx communities. “In my family, I heard things like “Fulana se murio durminedo” (Fulana died in her sleep), that’s normal. This is fine. But what can we do to avoid this? That’s why I’m talking about this and trying to achieve this awareness… Your body is your temple and if your body is telling you “knock knock” those are signs that you are unhealthy or something is wrong.”

Johanna Ferreira is the content director of PS Juntos. With over 10 years of experience, Joanna focuses on how intersectional identities are a central part of Latinx culture. She previously spent nearly three years as an associate editor at HipLatina and has freelanced for numerous publications, including Refinery29, The Oprah Magazine, Allure, InStyle and Well+Good. She has also moderated and spoken on numerous panels on issues of Latina identity.