“I needed to reboot my life”: a veteran talks about the problems of adapting to civilian life

Alex Ortiz (AO) and Lixanny Ortiz (LO)

JSC: What do you remember most about when we met?

LO: I think it would be your eyes. Because I remember looking at you and you wondering why I was looking at you so much, and I kept telling you (laughs) that I need to remember your face. And you wanted to meet not only me, but also my son Brian. That’s what set you apart and put you in the forefront (laughs).

JSC: You know, when I left the military, I felt lost, and I needed to start over with my life and figure out: How can I feel useful again? And when I first met you, I felt like I could go into the future and see that everything would be okay.

What do you want people to know about being the spouse of a veteran?

LO: So in our community we have very large mango trees and I remember you were driving and a mango fell on our car.

JSC: When the mango hit the glass it was so loud. And the tree was tall.

LO: You extended your right hand straight into my chest.

JSC: I know I tried to keep you safe.

LO: You stopped the car, stopped it so quickly, and I screamed at you: “What are you doing?” Go!’ And you’re like, “I think a mango just fell on our car.” But it took me back to the time when bombs were going on around us.”

JSC: It’s hard to explain until you live it, but I still reacted the way I was taught. This quick response makes me feel safe, as if I am still competent enough to protect my family.

LO: I think my family does too. When Hurricane Maria happened in 2017, my sister kept saying, “Oh, she should be okay, Alex is in the military.” He’s like MacGyver.”

It’s in your DNA: military life is for you because you talk about it all the time. I mean, you’ll go down the rabbit hole and never stop. We’ve been having problems recently because you’re so dedicated to helping veterans that it’s affected our relationship.

JSC: I think this is a perfect example because it creates tunnel vision… but I have limited time.

You guys know, you are the foundation on which I build my life. I just hope that I can always be there not only for you, but also for the children.