Tom Hanks talks candidly about his parenting style and what his children taught him

Tom Hanks talks candidly about his parenting style compared to how he was raised by his “overbearing” parents.

The 68-year-old actor appeared in the latest episode of “On purpose with Jay Shetty,” which was released on October 28, where he recalled growing up with divorced parents and how it affected him in raising four children.

“My parents were very concerned with the positives and negatives of their lives,” Hanks, the third of four siblings, told host Jay Shetty. “I like to joke that they were the first to pass divorce laws in the state of California… My home environment was fluid because we moved around a lot. And all of a sudden we were living with completely different people because my parents got married again and everything. By the time I was seven, I had lived in eight different houses. By the time I was 10, I lived in ten different houses.”

Reflecting on the ups and downs of his childhood, Shetty asked if he tries to raise his children differently than his own parents.

“I’m trying, but I’ve made every mistake. You know, you scar kids the same way,” Hanks said. “And when they get older, you come back and say, ‘Hey, can I talk about what a jerk I’ve been to you all these years?’ And (they say): “Yes, of course, dad. Yeah, I was kind of waiting for this. Why don’t you unload?”

Hanks has a son, Colin Hanks, 46, and a daughter, Elizabeth Hanks, 42, with his first wife Samantha Lewis. He is also the father of sons Chet Hanks, 34, and Truman Hanks, 28, whom he shares with longtime wife Rita Wilson.

“But at the same time, I would say… it’s 50/50?” he continued. “Maybe the attitude and the life we ​​led. Laughter, this thing is worth its weight in gold, encrusted with precious stones.”

When asked what his four children taught him, Tom Hanks replied: “How different they all are. They were never the same type of people.”

The Oscar winner recalled a story involving his youngest son, Truman Hanks, that made him “feel good” about fatherhood.

“My youngest at some point said something that was definitely true for him. And I thought that’s actually true for all of my kids, and that makes me feel good,” he shared. “He was younger. He was about seven or eight years old. I said, “Oh, at some point let’s go—we were in New York—let’s go to the park and get some gloves and leave them all over the place.” We will hit the ball. We’ll just find a spot (on) the grass.” And (he) said, “Okay, let’s do it.”

“And it eluded me,” he said, saying their time together at the park “didn’t happen.”

“Something happened and I realized: oh, the sun is already setting. And I said, “Oh my God. My God. Hey, sorry. I said we were going to go down and throw the ball. It eluded me. Forgive me,” said Tom Hanks. “And he said, ‘No, it’s okay, man.’ And there was disappointment in his voice.”

Tom Hanks apologized, saying he felt bad and told him, “I don’t want you to be bored.” “And he looked at me with this expression and said, ‘Dad, I’m never bored.’ And that… speaks to curiosity and drive, and the comfort of where one is, to feel free and explore whatever world there is.”

For Tom Hanks, it made him realize that his children have “the ability to pursue their own interests without being pushed or coerced. I learned a lesson from this.”

“They never said they were bored. They always had something going on, whether I understood their passion for it or not,” he said.

All three sons of the Forrest Gump star followed in their father’s acting footsteps, and Elizabeth Hanks became a writer.

Hanks previously talked about how his older children grew up differently than his and Wilson’s sons.

“I start thinking about the mistakes I made with my children, about not explaining things to them and not helping them. Or being so preoccupied with other things that are going on in our adult world,” he told the publication. New York Times in 2019. “My son Colin was born when I was very young. So does my daughter, but it means that we have this gestalt understanding because they remember when their dad was just a guy trying to, you know, make rent. My other children were born after I had established a springboard in every way. And so their lives were just different.”