According to research, there are 5 relationship stages that all couples must go through to reach the end.

We already know that love is, as they say, many beautiful things, but anyone who has been in a long-term relationship also knows that the path of true love is rarely smooth, no matter how great it may be. As with anything that develops over time, couples go through several relationship stages, moving from living alone as two people to a team determined to make their lives one.

Sometimes your stomach may hurt, but in a good way. Other times, your libido may seem almost out of control. Sometimes you literally can’t get enough of this person and never want to leave, and sometimes you wonder if he will ever (finally) leave and give you some peace.

According to 2014 data study conducted by psychologist Dr. Linda Papadopoulos for the dating site eHarmonyThere are five stages of relationships that couples typically experience over time: butterflies, building, assimilation, honesty, and stability.

It’s important to note that these stages do not always occur in the same order, and some stages may occur or recur in cycles, meaning some couples may return to certain stages many times throughout their relationship.

Here are the 5 stages of relationships that all couples go through to reach the end:

Stage 1: Infatuation, also known as “Butterflies”

The best moments of falling in love are butterflies and fascination. Infatuation can be bad in some cases, but when you’re both committed to conquering it, it’s great.

You can’t sleep, you can’t concentrate, and the most important thing in the world is to see this person again. California State University Research tells us that infatuation or lust is built on a physical connection and is on a superficial level.

The study found that 56 percent of people in the infatuation stage also report an obvious increase in their desire, meaning all you have to do is lie in bed with your new crush until the wee hours of the morning. However, this can be too much of a good thing, especially when your passion blinds you from reality.

Relationship coach Larry Michel explains: “Infatuation triggers many conditions: a strong desire for intimate connection or security, an end to loneliness or boredom. The most powerful and most common source of infatuation is chemistry, a mixture of brain chemicals and hormones that excite our senses and make us fall head over heels in love with someone.

The six main players are dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, oxytocin, testosterone and phenylethylamine (PEA). As a result, he says, “Chemistry is a very possible false indicator of a long-term relationship.”

Important tips for the infatuation stage: Be sure to ground yourself in reality. No one is perfect—neither you nor your new partner. So stop thinking about them as such.

Instead, see them for what they are: flawed people. This will help you differentiate the person you think he is from the person you should see him as a whole. “Recognize that you are under the influence of a fantasy love and take the time to see them for who they are… Be honest about what you want and who you are,” suggests relationship coach Marilyn Sutherland.

Stage 2. Building Comfort AKA

What stages of relationships do all couples go through, according to research? Polina Tankilevich / Pexels

Comfort stage it’s when your body calms down a little and you’re not in a haze of adoration and devotion. According to the study, neurochemicals are released that increase the volume of the heart rate and pleasure zones.

scientists say these sensations are comparable to Class A drugs. You experience what is called “happy anxiety” and finding a way to sleep remains difficult. The honeymoon phase may be over, but things haven’t cooled off just yet.

Important tips for the comfort phase: Since this is the “in-between” stage where the infatuation has passed but you haven’t yet come to a conclusion about whether your relationship has a future, remind yourself that this kind of relationship is not sustainable.

“Treat the loss of that fantasy high as an opportunity to get to know them more deeply, and for them to get to know you. Share your values, goals and dreams and see what you can build together. Focus on what works and explore together how you can overcome any significant differences,” adds Sutherland.

Stage 3. Question the assimilation of AKA

Naturally, you will reach a point where you begin to doubt what is happening. During the interrogation phase, you begin to wonder if everything is “right.” You begin to doubt whether your relationship will last and whether this person is right for you. Be compatible in relationships according to the 2023 studymeans you both want the same thing for your future.

You start asking yourself if this is really what you want. Can you imagine yourself with this person for a long time? Is it more serious than you expected?

Do you even have the potential for a long-term relationship that will last? Are you compatible? on more than a superficial level? Michelle adds: “Whether couples are driven by chemistry or a strong sense that the person they are dating truly satisfies some or all of their greatest needs and desires, the challenge is to prove it so they can decide whether this is the person they are dating. I sincerely want to be their partner.”

Important tips for the interrogation phase: The questioning stage is less about self-doubt and more about trying to figure out what’s right for you and your future. Therefore, it is very important to be on the same page with your partner.

Discuss what you both want, whether your values align, and how you can resolve any issues that arise between you. Sutherland says, “Know that no two people are 100 percent alike, and try to resolve differences with loving kindness. Be kind to yourself and to them as you navigate through any uncertainty.”

Stage 4. Vulnerability, aka honesty

Relationship stages that all couples go through, according to research Hannah Stevens / Pexels

“This stage looks at the concept of how we all behave at our best; Through social media, we edit our lives and our photos to make it appear as if everything is fine,” the study says. The study found that 15 percent of people experience “feelings of doubt and increased vulnerability” when having to be honest about who they are and all the weird quirks that everyone has.

Vulnerability is one of the most important parts any intimate relationship, Results of the 2019 study. And because it may seem like you’re taking a risk by showing your true self, stress levels begin to rise. However, the vulnerable stage indicates that you and your partner have entered into a serious relationship.

Important tips for the vulnerability stage: It’s not easy to bring out both the best and worst parts of yourself, but it’s a necessary step toward making a relationship work. Being vulnerable isn’t easy, but sharing parts of yourself that you don’t want others to see will show your partner that you can go deeper, you trust them, and your relationship isn’t superficial.

“Learn to communicate authentically, lovingly, and accept differences,” Sutherland adds. “Continue to be open and honest and set boundaries. Be willing to ask for what you want and need.”

Stage 5. Stability

After ups and downs, questions about your future and overcoming the fear of going deeper together, there comes a stage of stability when everything falls into place and you feel safe. Research tells us that vasopressin, the same hormone that is released during orgasm, circulates through your body and creates strong feelings of affection and attachment. At this stage, couples are very happy, even if the initial tension has subsided.

It’s these feelings do for a long-term relationship. Some might even say that this is the best stage of a relationship; if you’re lucky, you still have butterflies.

It’s natural to want to take your relationship in a new direction, whether it’s an exclusive relationship, renting an apartment together, or even committing to an engagement. You’re happy together, your feelings about the breakup have faded, and you’re looking forward to a future together.

Important tips for the stability phase: At some point during this stage, you may become bored. This is why it is so important to have a life outside of your relationship, meaning your life should not revolve solely around your partner.

Also, find ways to add excitement to your relationship. Try new activities and do things that help you stay connected.

As Sutherland recommends: “If you’re bored, communicate your desire for a little excitement and variety, and find ways to play into your relationship that satisfy both of your needs. Value the friendships and partnerships you have created and don’t take them for granted. Express love every day.”

No matter where you are in your relationship, couples should remember to never judge or compare themselves or their relationship to unrealistic expectations. Neither you nor your partner should look at other couples and wonder what your relationship is missing; your relationship simply doesn’t compare. After all, every relationship is unique.

Amanda Chatel is an essayist, lifestyle and intimate health writer specializing in relationships, women’s reproductive rights and mental health. Her bylines have appeared in Harper’s Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Livingly, Mic, The Bolde, Huffington Post and more.