“It’s important to let go of the shame of bulimia.”

Marina Diamandis has released five albums, but she writes like never before: in a collection of poetry, exploring, among other things, her experience with an eating disorder.

The singer, formerly known as Marina and Diamonds, was never interested in poetry.

But a couple of years ago, after taking psychedelics, she found herself “writing lyrics that didn’t fit into the songs.”

The result is Eat The World, which Vanity Fair described as “insightful and introspective” – ​​and the 39-year-old says the book expands on the loneliness she has experienced all her life.

The lyrics touch on a variety of topics, including rocky relationships, the ups and downs of living in Los Angeles, feeling comfortable as a woman in her 30s, and how the singer dealt with bulimia in her 20s.

“There are parallels to these themes in my music,” she adds.

“I think one of the main themes was feeling isolated in some way in my life or feeling like there was no sense of belonging.”

The first poem she shared on social media was called “Aspartame,” after the artificial sweetener.

It tells the story of a singer who moves to Los Angeles at age 20 and tries to win over a man with an eating disorder.

Bulimia is an eating disorder and mental health condition in which people overeat and then vomit, take laxatives or exercise excessively – and although anyone can get the condition, the NHS says it is more common in older people 15–25 years.

It’s something she’s touched on in her music before, with Electra Heart’s 2012 track “Teen Idle” alluding to bulimia and mentioning purging.

In Aspartame, the descriptions of the physical side effects of bulimia are not embellished, she is “thin as a rail in a polka dot dress” with “tooth enamel dissolved by stomach acid.” And in The Smoothness of Money she talks about the “binge cleansing cycle.”

As for Diamandis, she says she felt comfortable exploring the disease in her poetry as she feels far away from it now – and that it was important to free her from shame.

“I couldn’t sing”

“This chapter in my life started about 15 years ago, so I feel very excited and can talk about it without feeling any shame or awkwardness,” she says.

“I think it’s really important to take away that secrecy and shame.

“At the end of the day, it’s like any other mental illness or health problem and it can be life-threatening and, most importantly, for most people it makes life miserable.”

“I think with eating disorders, there’s a lot of secrecy around the disease itself, like in terms of maintaining it or being able to exist doing what you do without any comment from other people, because it’s , obviously such a harmful thing.”

According to Diamandis, it was the physical side effects of bulimia that helped her get better, as her throat was so damaged that she could not sing.

“It’s been about five years since I decided that I would never achieve my dream of becoming a singer and entertainer if I continued doing this,” she says.

“I actually quit a vocal course I was taking when I was about 21, before I got signed, because my throat was so bad I couldn’t sing anymore.”

“And from then on I decided I was going to get better and then I gained weight and didn’t feel good about it but it took a few years to level off.

“A couple of years later I signed a contract and my life started to improve and other things became more important.”

Diamandis says her recovery was “gradual” and took about 10 years.

She also notes that there is a misconception that eating disorders are about “wanting to lose weight or look a certain way.”

“It’s never really that way – it’s a surface problem, but underneath there are family issues, there’s always self-esteem issues going on.”

Diamandis says those struggling right now shouldn’t be hard on themselves.

“(Don’t beat) yourself up about it because I remember feeling a lot of guilt for even having it.

“I think feeling more self-compassionate was probably one of the first things I would suggest to people and also to anyone who is going through their own journey.”

“Shame and Stigma”

This is something Eating disorder charity Beat echoes them, adding that they “encourage anyone who is struggling to make an appointment with their GP as soon as possible, or if you are worried about a loved one, encourage them to do so.”

“Eating disorders thrive on shame and stigma, so it is very helpful when celebrities and public figures choose to speak openly about their experiences,” the charity says.

“It helps reinforce the idea that eating disorders can affect anyone and that there is nothing to be ashamed of.

“Bulimia is a serious mental illness, but full recovery is possible – every day we hear from people who are living fulfilling lives free of eating disorders.”

Diamandis has been in the industry since 2008, when size zero was still a toxic ideal, but she simply believes that society has traded one set of body standards for another.

“On the one hand, we now celebrate things like being super curvy, having a tiny waist or having a big butt, which is great because it’s not a size zero,” she says.

“But I just feel like we’ve traded one set of ideals for another, and the prevalence of things like surgeries and facial manipulation seems to be at an all-time high.

“And while women should always be able to do whatever they want, I worry that this is just one more thing that women will have to worry about.”

Diamandis is currently finishing up her sixth album, but she can definitely imagine releasing more books.

“I definitely see myself writing another collection of poetry, but maybe in three years.

“I’d like to write a book of essays at some point, but I don’t like doing two projects at once, so I’d really like to do it properly – maybe after this next album I’ll start writing something else.” books.”

If you are affected by the issues raised in this article, help and support can be found at BBC Action Line.