16 signs of a truly charismatic person, according to psychology

Charisma is not something that is bestowed upon a lucky few at birth. I struggled with shyness as a child; as a teenager, anyone would have called me “boring.” I have learned a lot over the years that has helped me develop my charismatic side. It has helped me get booked on podcasts, speak to thousands on stage, and reach a large readership.

Luckily, charismatic people have certain characteristics and personality traits that we can all learn from—and emulate—if we want to shine when dating, pursuing a promising career, or simply making connections with our neighbors.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a charismatic personality exudes “a special magnetic charm or attractiveness.” These people use nonverbal behavior such as posture and eye contact to project a charismatic personality.

Here are 16 signs of a person with true charisma:

1. They keep things light and carefree.

Humor was developed as the most important social dynamics in humans and even other animals such as chimpanzees. We need humor to ease life’s challenges and deepen connections. Be carefree in the face of difficulties and you will become the architect of a happier, more creative life.

2. They speak their minds, but not recklessly.

Suggestions that will make you more charismatic studio Cottonbro / Pexels

From time to time, say what needs to be said but no one else dares to say. Give your opinion honestly. Most people are hampered by socially programmed boundaries of what they can and cannot say. thirst for honesty. If you say it straight, you will earn respect. This can bring you huge bonuses as it requires courage, but it must be done carefully and consciously.

3. They rarely complain

Complaints are for little girls who can’t find the missing parts of their doll. It’s quite another thing to point out that something is wrong. But complaining—even if it’s only in your mind—will pollute your energy and infect those around you.

According to a study published in 2015 in European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology.complaining makes you feel worse. “Discussing events immediately during or after they occur causes the brain to relive or ‘rehearse’ a negative emotional response,” the researchers write. “This creates a stronger association in memory, exaggerating the impact of the emotional episode.”

4. They listen carefully without distractions.

Talking less demonstrates comfort combined with a relaxed demeanor and adds a sense of mystery. Talking less and listening more can earn respect in several ways, including confidence buildingbe a strong communicator, be open and thoughtful, enigmatic, in control of the situation and be a good listener, 2016 research confirms this.

5. They don’t jump to conclusions.

You can notice when someone jumps to conclusions and has trouble thinking. They move and think too quickly. They make life difficult for themselves with their haste. Instead, slow down physically and the mind will slow down. One of the best ways to slow down your thoughts is according to research from Harvard Universityis to meditate.

6. They embrace their quirks

Suggestions that will make you more charismatic fauxels/pixels

To cultivate an open and therefore more creative mind capable of developing compelling ideas, I work on the rarest quality of all: the ability to observe. This carries with it a subtle stigma.

You are “weird” if you observe, because most people rarely observe. Follow your weirdness. There is power in observation. See the world as it is. This is the real source of wisdom.

7. They pay attention to their hygiene

Seemingly mundane and “vain” things like trimming your toenails or ironing a wrinkled shirt are not frivolous luxuries; they are primary. How you take care of yourself greatly impacts not only how you feel, but also how you think about yourself. Doubt will constantly bark at the doorstep of someone who dresses like a slob 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The way you dress determines how people perceive you. Research from 2023 confirms.

8. They genuinely accept themselves (and others)

The connection between who validates our choices and our sense of well-being seems natural. But, as in the case of property and happiness, this is also an illusion that makes us unhappy. No matter what we decide to do, many people, including family members, will not react well to our choice.

The alternative is to connect with your true self, be willing to separate yourself from the herd, and reap the rewards of taking risks. The goal is not acceptance from others, but self-acceptance. Accepting yourself will increase your confidence, Research from Harvard University confirms this.

9. They are vulnerable

Those who pay attention don’t talk as much as most and don’t reveal everything about themselves. But when they do it, it’s straight up honesty. Honest interlocutors are usually easy to respect. According to a study by the Journal of Experimental Psychology.

You might find the courage to share something you’re uncomfortable with, or you might be willing to admit that you made a mistake. This kind of communication is refreshing and stress-relieving because you’re not trying to be something you’re not.

10. They go against the grain

Instead of frolicking with the majority and collecting scraps, go against the grain. Use the information you gain from observing what most people don’t do as a guide. You will rise further than most and develop healthier relationships by turning inconvenient things into valuable things.

11. They don’t rush through life.

Suggestions that will make you more charismatic Auguste de Richelieu / Pexels

People are in a hurry and stressed. Most secretly want to be bossed around, for someone to show up and make them feel better, less stressed and more critical. Be that person. Leaders are people with vision and energy, according to research from Harvard University.

12. They don’t take every thought at face value.

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of listening to thoughts that bring you down. University of Notre Dame Research states that our mind lies to us many. These are just thoughts. They can be ignored. Abandon them and decide to act on the side that leads the soldiers into battle.

13. They know how to relieve stress

Mentally scanning your body can help you understand where you feel tension, how it affects you, and help you relieve stress. Research has shown that body scan meditation can help relieve stress, improve sleep, increase self-awareness, reduce pain and increase self-compassion.

14. They don’t live in their heads.

Sabotage is much more likely when we are in our heads. We cannot be in our thoughts if we do one thing at a time. How? Because we are no longer in planning or thinking mode. We are on the move. We are in the flow of things. In this state we are gifted with insight that lifts us higher.

American Psychological Association Study shows that focusing on one thing, also known as “single-tasking,” significantly more productive than trying to multitaskbecause the human brain is not designed to effectively multitask, resulting in decreased efficiency, increased errors, and mental fatigue when switching between tasks.

15. They are modest

Through Zen Buddhism Shoshin — or “Beginner’s Mind,” the idea is to learn with the eagerness and humility of a beginner, no matter your level of knowledge.

“If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything, it is open to everything. In the mind of a beginner there are many possibilities, but in the mind of an expert there are few.” — Shunryu Suzuki Zen mind, beginner’s mind.

Paradoxically, this is the path to true experience. Master Yi from League Of Legends said: “A true master is an eternal student.” Psychology Dunning-Kruger effect supports this. While the competent underestimate themselves, the incompetent are deluded.

16. They genuinely enjoy life

Life is uncertain, and it often feels like we need to adopt smart strategies to “get through the uncertainty.” We compensate for our “lack of preparedness” by employing thinking techniques such as “fake it ’til you make it,” “focus on the audience,” or “make eye contact to appear more dominant,” or all three. Fake it ’till you make it like research from 2022 puts it, it really works.

Don’t try. Just find a way to relax and have fun. Everything you need will be there for you thanks to insights from deeper places. As a result, we too often dedicate ourselves to trying harder or moving faster in areas of our lives where effort and effort are actually deeply counterproductive. Professor of Asian Studies and Embodied Cognition at the University of British Columbia and was found by a famous researcher of Chinese thought.

Alex Mathers is an author and coach who helps you build a profitable personal brand using your knowledge and skills while maintaining mental toughness.