I cheated on my wife with a woman from a nightclub, despite the fact that our little son was rushed to the hospital

DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN’T stop myself from picking up other women for sex, even though I have the most wonderful wife at home.

I am repulsed by a smile, an inviting look, and sometimes even just the sight of her hands.

My last betrayal last weekend was so wrong. I had sex with a woman after meeting her in a club.

We flirted at the bar and I knew that by the end of the evening I would be kissing her neck.

After that I found a message and missed calls from my wife. She rushed our little boy to the hospital with suspected meningitis. I rushed there, feeling like a complete scumbag.

I am 29, my wife is 27. We have been together for five years. Our son is three years old.

I can’t remember how many times I’ve cheated since my wife had a son, who fortunately was fine despite his health problems.

I realized that I was with an assistant and the signal was bad, but I felt guilty for lying. I know I can’t go on like this. I wonder if this has anything to do with my harsh upbringing?

My father left my mother in their early twenties.

From time to time he came with gifts – probably out of guilt. My mom met someone else, my stepfather. He’s a nice guy, but when he and his mom had two daughters, I felt pushed out.

I know that’s no excuse. I’m pathetic.

I always feel like it’s time for me to confess to my wife. I’m sure she knows something is wrong.

I felt incredibly fit afterwards—in my head, we were the sexiest people in the room.

I was disappointed when we went our separate ways, and then delighted when he started texting me.

The conversation was very sexual and he asked if I wanted to play online for a bit.

Having been carried away, I agreed, and we undressed in front of the cameras.

When I woke up and remembered what I had done, I began to panic.

I hardly know this man, and he clearly told this to his friends, who start laughing whenever they see me.

DEIDRE SAYS: You took a big step by asking for help and admitting that you need to change.

And yes, it’s very likely that your childhood made you feel unwanted.

As a result, you are in an endless quest to feel loved, but this is not a reason to cheat.

Telling your wife about this may ease your conscience, but it will doom her to a lot of suffering and will not solve anything.

This could very well cause the end of your relationship.

She would be absolutely devastated – and so would your little boy.

Accept the fact that you make a choice every time you have sex with another woman.

Change your lifestyle and stay away from temptation until you can trust your willpower.

My support package Can’t Be Faithful? contains details of where you can get further help.