How to Control Anxiety Like Elite Athletes and Soldiers

In my conversation with John McPhee on Power Athlete Radio, we took a deep dive into the complex nature of fear—an emotion that everyone experiences, but that changes and evolves as we gain more experience. Fear is never just one thing, it has different layers depending on the situation. There is a fear of the unknown, like the anxiety that grips you before entering into something new and uncertain. There is a fear of combat or direct confrontation, a very raw fear that can strike in moments of extreme challenge. And then there’s the ever-present fear of failure that holds many people back from realizing their full potential. Each form of fear has its own characteristics, but learning to manage them effectively is key.

At an early age, fear can be overwhelming. Imagine a young NFL player taking the field for the first time, the stadium buzzing, the stakes higher than ever. This fear can be all-consuming, so intense that it is difficult to think clearly. I’ve seen this happen many times. But as we grow and gain experience, the nature of fear changes. For soldiers, in combat or any other high-stakes arena, the excitement of the game is no longer associated with fear. Instead, they strive to achieve good results. The soldiers had, so to speak, countless “hits with the bat.” They know what to expect and, importantly, how to channel those emotions productively. It’s not that fear disappears; it just becomes something more manageable, more familiar, and less paralyzing.

The key point John and I discussed is that fear never truly goes away. You get used to it, but it’s always there. At first, fear may seem almost debilitating, but over time you will learn to cope with it better. For those of us who send young people into high-stress environments, whether they are athletes or soldiers, our job is to help them cope with that initial wave of fear. It’s all about showing them the tools they need to process these strong emotions rather than letting fear control them.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned during my time in the NFL that I try to pass on to others is that emotions, including fear, come in waves. In high-stakes situations, it is not uncommon to experience fear, anger, sadness, and joy in a short period of time. Emotions can hit you hard, especially when the stakes are high, and learning to cope with this emotional turbulence is essential. The goal is not to become immune to these waves, but to ride them, just like learning to surf. Fear may be present, but with enough practice you develop the skill to maintain your balance and keep moving forward without letting each wave dictate your next action.

As you gain more experience, you begin to overcome waves of fear, disappointment, and even joy without suppressing them. You learn to let emotions pass by, realizing that they are part of the process and not obstacles to be avoided. Fear, instead of being a burden, becomes another natural part of the experience—just a fleeting feeling rather than an immovable wall. It’s about accepting that the wave will pass and then focusing on the emotions and motivations that are keeping you grounded. Fear, despite its intensity, is temporary, and you can learn to cope with it without losing focus on what is truly important.

So, while fear may be inevitable, it can always be dealt with. And once you start treating it as something you can handle rather than something to avoid, you free yourself up to perform at your best. Whether you take to the battlefield, the sports field, or the stage, managing fear is about mastering those emotional waves so they don’t knock you down, but propel you forward. Adopting this mindset is a powerful shift that will allow you to face every challenge with a level of confidence and resilience that fear alone cannot achieve.