A father of two is refusing to provide financial support to his “struggling” ex and her children.

A father of two has been supported for his decision not to pay additional child support to his children’s half-siblings and half-siblings.

Despite the difficult situation for another family, the man received support from both online commenters and experts, with one clinical psychologist saying repeated attempts to get money could be “evidence of a wider pattern”.

A man who did not give his name, but writes Reddit under username Commercial-Formal310took to the r/AmITheA*****e sub to ask if he was wrong for “not providing any additional support for my children other household (sic).”

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He explained that he has an 11-year-old daughter and an eight-year-old son with his ex-wife, who has since remarried and has three adopted children, as well as two more children with her new husband.

With seven children under one roof, his ex and her husband are now “struggling financially” and have repeatedly tried to increase the small amount of child support he pays for his own children because he gets a bigger salary than his ex.

His ex approached him directly and took it to court five times, each time reminding him that “child support is meant to provide for our children, not her family as a whole.”

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Psychologist Dr. Maya Weir, founder of Thriving California, tells the story. Newsweek questions had to be asked about why the ex felt like “he owed her more money,” wondering “if they still have some kind of addiction or entanglement that needs to be dealt with.”

“I wonder if money is one of the ways she keeps in touch with her ex and that she might need support to truly break up so she can let go of those expectations,” she suggested and advised both exes to go to therapy to “really get over their separation.”

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The man said that when he was directly asked to give $50 “here and there” or to buy things for her other children, he repeatedly refused. But things came to a head recently when his daughter and one of her half-siblings celebrated their birthdays around the same time.

His daughter received gifts and had a party at his house, but his stepson did not have the party because they could not afford to have one. His ex asked if his stepchildren could attend his daughter’s party at his house, but his daughter didn’t want them there, so he declined again.

Child psychologist and parenting expert Caitlin Slavens tells the story. Newsweek in this case there were “layers of emotion and responsibility” to consider, and it goes beyond legal obligations.

“When children feel that their siblings or step-siblings are being treated unfairly or are suffering due to a lack of resources, they may internalize this, potentially leading to feelings of guilt, resentment or confusion about their family relationships,” said she, urging him to demonstrate it. sympathy” to the mixed family of his children.

As for his daughter not wanting her siblings to attend her party, she advised “having an open conversation with his daughter about her blended family, explaining that sometimes acts of kindness extend beyond the immediate family.”

“He could also think of small, thoughtful gestures that will make his children’s other home more welcoming without making it an ongoing commitment or direct support for the other children.”

The man further wrote that now, although he paid for his children’s school meals himself, his half-siblings’ and step-siblings’ lunch bills were negative. “Because I funded our children, she wanted me to do it for her stepchildren and I again said no,” he wrote.

He took to Reddit to ask if he was wrong after his ex-wife “called me a monster and asked how I could live with myself knowing my children’s other family was struggling and literally drowning in financial hardship , and I could help, but choose not to.”

Attorney Michelle Lock, who has experience in family law, spoke about this. News of the week: “It’s not his fault. Child support is intended to support children who were from this marriage, not for children who were not from this marriage. Nobody said anything was fair, including love and divorce.”

She added: “He has obligations to his children, which he created with his ex-wife, and that is where his obligations end. While it’s unfortunate that mom is struggling financially with her new family, the reality is that it’s not dad’s problem.”

Reddit users also responded strongly, with his post receiving nearly 6,000 likes and hundreds of comments since it was published on October 30th.

One user wrote: “As much as I advocate helping any child, you have the right to not feel obligated to care for someone else’s child. Moreover, she is confident that she is acting correctly in this situation.”

“Why does your ex think you should support other people’s children?” asked another, adding: “They should have gotten their finances in order before expanding their family. Children don’t come cheap.”

And another thanked him for “listening to my daughter when she was choosing who to invite to the party. She seems to find it a relief to have a break from her half-siblings, which is true for many children.”

Newsweek contacted Commercial-Formal310 on Reddit for comment on this story. We were unable to independently verify the details of this case.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know at [email protected]. We may ask experts for advice and your story may be published in Newsweek.