Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone’s relationship advice: “Go to sleep crazy”: expert opinion

Host Andy Cohen was amused by the unconventional advice and asked, “If you go to bed angry, do you usually wake up angry?”

Falcone explained the benefits of scheduling the brewing fight for the next morning.

“You forget what the hell you were fighting about in the first place. I guarantee it will work. I promise,” he said.

McCarthy added that while these situations “almost never” happen, she always asks, “Should we talk?”

Falcone jokingly added, “And then, you know, we’re going to find out at 2:15 in the morning after I’ve had three cocktails.” Like, no.”

“That’s not happening,” Cohen agreed.

Fans enjoyed the couple’s hilarious approach to marital advice and took to the comments section of the Instagram post to share their reactions.

“100% agree… I’m always more rational after sleep,” one wrote.

Another commented: “Married 39 years and totally agree .”

Going to bed angry seems to go against traditional advice, but does it make sense? We consulted two licensed therapists to find out.

Space and sleep can be helpful

Kelsey M. Latimer, Licensed Psychologist, Founder and Owner Psychological services KMLtold TODAY.com that she understands McCarthy and Falcone’s point of view.

“From my perspective, they’re not saying to actually go to bed angry, but rather to understand what you can let go of and when to most productively approach things and discuss them if necessary,” she says. “I’m taking what they’re saying as more of an ‘agree to disagree,’ and let it be until there’s a better time to actually talk about it.”

Beneath the couple’s comedic façade, they’re actually giving some pretty sound advice.

“In any healthy relationship, we need to figure out what’s worth talking about and what’s worth letting go of,” Latimer explains.

Therapist from San Francisco Avigail Lev, Doctor of Psychology., reports TODAY.com that a “time out” can help activate rational thinking during conflict, although the length of this break can vary depending on the person.

While a period of “time out” may calm some, Leo warned that too much free time can “irritate” others who tend to simmer in their feelings.

“I remind couples that the purpose of time-out is to become adults, identify your feelings and needs, restore and calm yourself so that you return to the situation of an adult, knowing your needs, knowing your feelings and having a specific request,” Lev explained.

Leo says that if you have an argument before bed, sleeping first can help resolve the conflict intelligently.

“You need to sleep, and sleep is important for arguments. The less sleep you get, the worse this argument will be,” she said.

Latimer also noted that sleep helps replenish our energy, emotions and cognitive responses.

“After a good rest, we often perceive things very differently and our rational brain is turned back on to guide and balance our emotional brain.”

Think about the best time to resolve conflict

Leo says the time of day shouldn’t dictate how you handle conflict, but rather how aroused you feel.

“When we are triggered, we are no longer in our prefrontal cortex capable of making rational decisions and behaving effectively,” she explains. “We are in our amygdala, our primitive brain. We are in fight or flight. We are excited and activated. And in fact, now is simply not the time to talk or discuss.”

If you don’t resolve a conflict right away, Leo explains, that doesn’t mean you can’t come to a satisfactory resolution later.

“I think the couples who suffer the most are the ones who can’t take time out. They need permission this second. They cannot leave this without resolution. And again, this does not mean that you allow hindrance. This does not mean that people can simply disappear for a while. It’s very different from obstruction because it’s not about the person, it’s about the relationship,” Lev said.

But Latimer noted that it is important for couples to get their issues right at some point.

“When something is really serious in a relationship, a healthy couple needs to come back to the discussion and work through it, otherwise things will start to pile up and resentments will build up, creating distance or unhealthy patterns in the relationship,” she said.

The result?

McCarthy and Falcone shared some valuable advice in a comedic manner, but they’re not relationship experts.

“Going to bed angry is not the key to a strong relationship, so please don’t take this as a literal recipe. But knowing yourself, learning to communicate with your partner and being willing to listen rather than being right is definitely a big part of being successful in a relationship,” Latimer said.

A good night’s rest before returning to an argument can be productive, but Lev cautioned against taking this approach to avoid the issue at hand, as Falcone seemed to jokingly suggest.

“If you start using it as a means of avoidance, it won’t help because it will start to build up and grow and escalate,” she said.