Dear Abby, Was I wrong to suggest leaving the orphanage for a family memorial?

DEAR ABBY: I am a childless 70-year-old man. Every year on the anniversary of my brother’s death, my relatives get together and travel to his hometown to celebrate. We have a wake at the cemetery and go to mass together on Sunday. We also go out for food and drinks. Now three generations are involved, the youngest of the children is 10 years old.

My cousin’s son and his wife had a baby this year. We are all happy for them. A couple of days ago I posted a group message in our family thread saying that I didn’t think it was a good idea to take a child on this trip. I explained that I felt this would detract from the purpose of the meeting. Well, my cousin is offended and won’t tell me why. I worded my message carefully so as not to say anything negative. Was I wrong? — TRADITIONALIST IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR TRADITIONALIST: You wrote that the purpose of this meeting is for the family to honor the memory of your deceased brother and celebrate his life together. When you posted in the family thread, did you expect your cousin’s son and his wife to skip the event and stay home with their child? Their child is part of the family and may be too young to be motherless. Although your carefully worded message reflects your feelings, it was inappropriate and I understand why it upset your cousin.