I turned 66 in a month and have a lot of financial regrets.

Pensioner. Even this word sounds old, conjuring up childhood images of gray-haired people struggling to stay on canes.

And yet here I am. I will turn 66 on 5 November and having paid full National Insurance contributions I will receive state pension. I am extremely grateful for the £221.20 per week that will soon be coming to me. Where once I was delighted with a monthly salary that allowed me to live very well, now I look forward to this meager addition to my already diminished treasury.

Gone is the six-bedroom mansion I once had in an upscale area of ​​Cardiff. My two-bedroom apartment overlooking the Mediterranean Sea in Puerto Banus, Spain has disappeared. A rugby hospitality box in Cardiff, front-row midway tickets to international rugby matches at the Principality Stadium, first-class Virgin Atlantic flights back and forth to the US, a Manhattan apartment with direct views of the Hudson River – it’s all gone.

I think about all this as I sit in a bar with my €2.50 glass of wine on the coast of Saranda in Albania. I’m here because this is the only place I can afford at the moment and I’m staying in an Airbnb which costs me 20 euros per night.

The simple truth is: I can I can’t afford to live in the UK anymore.

Last year I returned from living in New York City for ten years, but immediately began losing money on council taxes, utility bills, and rent. Yes, apart from the rent, even in New York it was cheaper: no council tax, electricity – 50 pounds a month.

I googled cheap places to live in the world and after much research I discovered that Bulgaria offers a Bulgaria retirement visa for people who have government pensions from other countries.

Since Bulgaria is in the EU and I’m almost at 90 of my 180 days of Brexit permits, I need to find places outside the EU in the meantime; hence Albania.

I tell myself that people are worse off, but is this where I saw myself as a retiree – hauling business around Eastern Europe and googling the cheapest places and eateries I could find?

Was I stupid for choosing to live rather than save money for a rainy day (in my case, cashing in on a daily basis)?

I’ve never done any math, but I’ve probably spent a couple million over my 40+ years of work.

There are times when I regret my generosity: giving away money, buying food for huge groups because I couldn’t handle arguing about “Who had the shrimp?” at the end of the night.

I regret purchasing property on interest only mortgage. I’ve just always liked living in beautiful places without worrying about how I might end up paying for them.

I also bought stupidly extravagant things from time to time – a €12,000 Chloe dress, a saxophone (never touched it), a £3,500 Clavinova, when in fact I went out to buy a £60 synth. Why? Because I could.

A journalist friend of mine once said that he thinks I feel guilty about having money, which is why I keep getting rid of it. Perhaps he was right. But would I do things differently if I had my time again? Doubtful? I would probably buy two of Chloe’s dresses.

I never thought about the consequences of spending because I always assumed that I would never stop working. I planned carefully for my pensions (supported by my dad) – I just never imagined that the world could change.

But external circumstances also contributed to my financial history. After Brexit, the dollar to pound exchange rate became almost parity, and since I was paid in pounds but my expenses were in the US, I lost a lot of money – easily a quarter of my salary.

Journalism doesn’t pay as well as it used to (is there anything better than driving a train?), and it’s not the only industry or industry that has been hurt by the internet revolution. I now make a quarter of what I made in 2008.

During the crash of that year, I was forced to sell my house because interest rates soared and my income went in a different direction. This was truly the beginning of the decline. When I cashed in my three personal pensions between 2008 and 2012 (it took over four years to sell my house due to the economic climate) – around £60k – to pay off the mortgage, I didn’t think for a second that my savings may get better. and really confused.

So yes, I regret not saving more.

But then I saw Mom, who at the end of her life five years ago was worried about money (as she and Dad were all their lives), still writing down every expense, and I was glad that I had spent so much and lived so well. What was there to show for a lifetime of frugal living? Yes, my parents had good marriage and went through a lot together, but we had to constantly watch every penny. And we all end up in the same place – abandoned by the country we helped build.

Both of my parents worked so hard to achieve their goals, and yet the government could still take my mother’s house (which she owned after Dad died) to fund the care of the tiny bedroom in the house.

Luckily, she had all her abilities and she absolutely refused to go down that path. As long as she could watch Emmerdale in her own home she did not care whether she died in her chair.

She will be thrifty because she said that she does not want to take away my and my brother’s inheritance. We kept telling her to spend a lot of money.

Luckily, my friends and family don’t judge my situation. Over the years they saw how generous I was and were very grateful for it. They share my optimism when I tell them that I know things will change, and I truly believe it.

I did what I did and was overwhelmed by the support I now received, both financial and emotional, from family, friends – and many complete strangers. So maybe karma?

I’m afraid that my health may deteriorate, but Bulgaria gives it for free healthcare retirees and has very affordable health insurance.

Do I see myself staying there forever? Doubtful. I also have US citizenship and can go back there, and I still harbor hopes of making a fortune from writing books, not least the book I wrote about how I went broke in several countries.

I intend to keep working until I drop. I’m a writer and I’m never happier than when I’m working. As long as I have a roof over my head and enough money for food and wine, I’ll be happy.

I realized that people are more important than money, and I wouldn’t trade the people and experiences I had for anything. The only financial advice I would give to my younger self is to not spend so much on men. Money really can’t buy your love.

So I’m definitely sorry. But I also have hopes.

I can’t do anything about the past, but I control my future. Even if it’s not in the manner I’d like to get used to.