No one will come to save you: from yourself

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

– Rita Mae Brown

My field is health, fitness and human performance. In this article I will focus on this area, but it is likely that these problems are relevant to many areas of life. The current landscape of this area is summed up by the cliché: “No one is coming to save you.” That is, you are responsible for yourself and must be the initiator of change. And on a superficial level, I couldn’t agree more. What I have learned from almost two decades in this field is that you (coach, coach, etc.) cannot want it more than they (athlete, client, etc.). If there is no intrinsic motivation, the mission fails before it even launches. But every New Year’s resolution starts with a person. Everyone wants change, everyone wants to become better. And this is where the proverb fails a person.

Often when I conduct thought experiments on myself, I like to take things to extremes to solve problems. In this case, I would equate a New Year’s resolution to climbing Everest, and we are all climbers. There is no doubt that anyone who wants to conquer Everest is full of motivation. And it is quite possible that a highly motivated, highly skilled and well prepared person could reach the top without a guide. But the likelihood that even the best climber will fail for some reason other than some unknown variable is exponentially higher. This is where the Sherpas come to the rescue. For those who don’t know, Sherpas are guides who are indigenous to the region and have an understanding of the issue that can only be learned through information passed down from generation to generation. Even with a Sherpa, the climber is still the one who puts one foot in front of the other. The Sherpa simply (which may be an understatement) ensures that the path they take will take them where they need to go.

If you look at Everest in the most simplistic way possible, climbing Everest is simple: get to the top. And this is what we see in the field all the time. Losing weight is simple: burn more calories than you consume. Building muscle is simple: lift heavy weights often. Heck… winning the Super Bowl is easy too: score more points than the other teams. Great, I’ll wait for the NFL coach to call, right? Of course not. A map is never representative of an area. Knowing the simple path without any real context of what’s going on at the first level won’t help you achieve your goal. Goals cannot be achieved without the right strategy, and strategy is meaningless without the right tactics. Simply put, we don’t know what we don’t know. Everything seems simple if you have a superficial understanding. But without a deeper understanding, you’re not prepared to deal with the nuances that are likely to emerge during your journey.

The main problem with the main proverb of this play is the false narrative it implies. A better saying might be: No one will come to save you if you never ask for help. The harsh reality is that the changes you seek would already have happened if you were able to make them. So what is missing from previous years? Responsibility. It’s not a lack of willpower, it’s not a lack of motivation, it’s the lack of someone who has a deeper understanding and holds you accountable when the terrain gets rougher than it seemed on the map. To escape, you will have to seek help from a Sherpa.

So, two months have passed. Enough time to prepare, do your research, and figure out what the goal looks like. But if you go at it alone, you’ll just rinse and repeat how you got here. Pride is a killer, and weakness, admitting you can’t do it alone, is the noose that hangs you on. There isn’t a high achiever who doesn’t have a support system. If you are truly interested in change, you need to determine where your range of action ends and find someone or a group of people who will help expand your capabilities.