After two divorces from men, I married my best friend

Sherron Sloss-Lewis is an influencer, LGBTQ advocate and mother who shares advice for women over 50 and photos of her life with wife Patricia Lynn Lewis on Instagram. After one of her posts went viral, TODAY.com reached out to us to learn more about her unconventional path to happiness.

In 2014, I was a twice-divorced mother of three, ready to get back out there.

I’ve been straight my whole life. I’ve never been attracted to women. But after two divorces I made a decision from men that I would be open to love, no matter what that looked like.

When I started dating womenI fought for my salvation because I was born and raised in Nashville, Tennessee and raised in the church. As I experimented, I didn’t know if what I was doing would please God. So I consulted with my church minister and he helped me through it. Once I felt comfortable, then it was full steam ahead.

When I joined Match.com, I was trying to find my person. I came across Patricia’s profile and was immediately captivated by her appearance. I thought, “Wow, she’s beautiful,” and later found out that she thought the same thing about me.

She told me that she said to herself, “Oh, she’s fine.” But after taking a closer look at my profile, she realized that she knew me through one of our mutual friends. — although we lived in different states.

When people hear this story, they say, “It had to be, because it’s crazy.”

Turns out she knew my ex because they were dating too. Small world. Patricia was also previously married – also to a man – and divorced.

At first, I think we both thought that if we dated the same person, it wouldn’t work. It was too weird. But once we chatted a little online, I realized how easy it was with Patricia.

The first time she called me, we talked on the phone for three hours and the conversation was just casual. It was casual. We laughed a lot, which is very important for both of us.

We found ourselves in long distance relationshipsince I was living in Nashville at the time and Patricia was in Maryland. But a year later I decided to move in with her along with my daughter, who was about to go to junior school.

The lifestyle in Maryland was different from what I was used to, so it was difficult at first. But I knew I had to be there because I had a strong gut feeling that Patricia was my person.

I just knew so strongly that she was the one that I bought a birthday card for our anniversary after the first weekend we spent together while I was still in Nashville. I put it under my mattress for a whole year. Then, shortly before I moved in with her, I gave her the card. I was sure.

We lived together for two years before getting married at the Salamander Resort in Middleburg, Virginia in December 2017.

Patricia and I have children from previous marriages, so at our wedding, her son walked her down the aisle, and my two sons walked me. It was beautiful. It was simply magical.

When I moved to Maryland, I was bored at home because I wasn’t working (Patricia is the breadwinner), so I decided to become an influencer. I started publishing photos of Patricia and I on the Internet. Most of my posts are about lifestyle and fashion, but I started including Patricia in there a little bit to get a feel for the temperature – most of my followers are straight, so I didn’t know how they would react.

Then it just went crazy. The people were so warm and welcoming. At first they said, “Oh my God, you’re gay! My God, your wife!” It just exploded.

Of course, there will always be trolls who will say terrible things, but my community has been nothing but supportive.

I remember getting a comment from someone who said, “What a waste of an egg” or something like that, because we were two women and they thought we didn’t have offspring. And we were like, “Sir, we have four children.”

Lately there have been more negative comments: “You knew you were gay. Why did you even do this to men?” But in my past marriages, I never hid in the closet. I was straight, strictly heterosexual.

The difference in my marriage to Patricia compared to my ex-husbands is that we are a true partnership. We work very well together as a team. We are excellent communicators and talk about everything. We don’t go to bed angry. Always. In my previous marriages, communication was an issue.

Patricia and I are both emotional creatures, which can sometimes make things difficult, but we give each other space, grace, and time and try to anticipate each other’s needs.

I never thought my life would turn out this way. If someone had told me 25 years ago that I would marry another woman, I would not have believed it. It just shows you that you don’t know what your life will be like. You can have all these plans and goals, but you honestly just don’t know where you’ll end up.

But for me, I’m glad I’m where I am.