Dear Annie, How can we repair our damaged relationship with our son?

Dear Annie: We used to have a great relationship with our son, and he has a daughter who is now 19 years old. Seven years ago he met a divorced woman who we liked at first, but over time everything changed dramatically. Since this new relationship began, our son and daughter’s bond has deteriorated to the point where they barely see each other simply because, as they say, they are always “too busy.”

Although we managed to maintain an excellent relationship with our granddaughter, the relationship with our son became strained, largely due to his new wife, who became very domineering. She clearly doesn’t like us, and as a result, our relationship with him practically collapsed.

Our son recently had a nervous breakdown and we are not allowed to see him at all. This has hurt us deeply and his daughter is heartbroken too. It’s painful to watch her suffer, knowing that she has lost contact with her father and we don’t know how to help.

How can we repair this broken relationship with our son when his wife seems determined to keep us at a distance? Is there a way to support him during this difficult time without pushing him away further or creating more tension? We are desperate for advice on how to restore our family connections before it is too late. — Heartbroken Parents

Dear Heartbroken: This is an incredibly difficult situation for everyone involved. The harsh truth is that the only person who can truly help your son is your son himself; he must want help and be willing to accept it. In the meantime, continue to approach your daughter-in-law with pure love and concern for the well-being of your son and for the sake of your granddaughter.

While it is understandable to feel like she has control over you (which I have no doubt about), placing blame on her will not help your son or granddaughter at this time. What can help is to show unconditional love and support to your son while practicing open-minded acceptance towards your daughter-in-law. This approach can give your son the emotional space he needs to heal and ultimately reunite with his family.

Dear Annie: I am a 64 year old woman who got divorced after 35 years of marriage. After two years of kissing frogs, I believe I have finally found my prince. He is a kidney dialysis patient and we have been together for over a year. We love each other deeply.

He recently told me that he was on the waiting list for a kidney transplant, but to our horror, he has since learned that he no longer meets the criteria and will have to remain on dialysis for the rest of his life. I am very worried about him, because he is 67 years old and comes from a family of long-livers. At the same time, I feel confused and unsure about our future together, knowing that this will significantly impact our lives as a couple.

I love it, but I’m having a hard time understanding what it means for us in the long run. How can I be the best support for him while also considering how this will change our life together? I’m torn between my feelings for him and the practical realities we have to face. Any advice would be appreciated. — Concerned in Washington State

Dear Concerned: Congratulations on finding your prince. Even though he has health problems, he is still your prince, which means you love him. Focus on continuing to support him and provide him with the best medical care. After all, wouldn’t you rather live with your prince who has health problems than with a frog who is in good shape?

“How do I forgive my cheating partner?” out now! The second Annie Lane anthology, featuring beloved columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation, is available in paperback and e-book. Visit for more information. Send your questions to Annie Lane at [email protected].