Should you force your kids to say “thank you” for trick-or-treating on Halloween?

Every parent knows that awkward pause after a kind neighbor puts Halloween candy in your child’s bucket. This may seem scarier than jump scares.

Will your child remember to say “thank you”?

Dr. Becky KennedyPsychologist, parenting expert and mother of three says we need to get rid of this fear. Parents are drawn to her incredibly honest and down-to-earth style of parenting advice, and this video is a perfect example of that.

On Oct. 30, she posted a video on social media giving parents permission to not force their children to say “thank you” during trick-or-treating, using an example from her own experience as a mother.

Dr. Becky (as she calls herself on social media) said that a few years ago she got into a power struggle on Halloween with her son and ended up telling him, “If you don’t say ‘thank you’ at the house next door, I’m taking yours.” candy.” Her threat backfired.

“Of course he didn’t say thank you,” she continued. “I took his candy. The situation has escalated. It wasn’t pretty.”

The next year, instead of forcing her son to say “thank you,” she decided to simply encourage and model manners. Dr. Becky would say something like, “Hey, what good things can you say when you get candy?” or, “Oh, thank you very much. That’s so kind.